TIME: 1730 hrs Zulu.
LOCATION: Ann Arbor
SUBJECT: NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN 
PROJECT CODE NAME: “HaveBlue”
BEGIN TRANSMISSION:
“Michigan AD to Brady Hoke during the job interview: “Why do you want this job? Hoke”: “It will be my mission to beat Ohio and restore the proper order of things to U of M”
No joke, my friends. He actually said that stuff and it was the first thing out of his mouth.
Starting the first day on campus, this common, unassuming man who speaks fire with the same tongue and temperament of Bo Schembechler, has left zero question as to his priorities. It is to erase the slaughter of the last 11 years during November.
Here are some of the things Hoke has done that NO ONE will mention in the regular press:
•Has formally assigned, “Beat Ohio” propaganda responsibilities to an assistant coach. This coach must come up with every conceivable form of brainwashing, bashing, motivation, provocation and torment to the team possible. NOTHING is off the table here.
Has formally assigned, “Beat Ohio” propaganda responsibilities to an assistant coach. This coach must come up with every conceivable form of brainwashing, bashing, motivation, provocation and torment to the team possible. NOTHING is off the table here. •This coach so far has created a video loop of the greatest Ohio State tackles against Michigan over the last 20 years and plays it continually during certain practices and conditioning sessions
This coach so far has created a video loop of the greatest Ohio State tackles against Michigan over the last 20 years and plays it continually during certain practices and conditioning sessions•Certain times of each practice are dedicated to Ohio State, including Michigan practice squad members wearing Ohio State jerseys as targets.
Certain times of each practice are dedicated to Ohio State, including Michigan practice squad members wearing Ohio State jerseys as targets. •OSU marching band music is played
OSU marching band music is played •Each Michigan player has a tee shirt he must wear with the final score of each Ohio State game over the past decade. Oh – by design, every shirt is too small and very uncomfortable
Each Michigan player has a tee shirt he must wear with the final score of each Ohio State game over the past decade. Oh – by design, every shirt is too small and very uncomfortable•During “practice for Ohio”, Hoke himself puts on a jersey and practices plays with the offensive line and linebackers.
During “practice for Ohio”, Hoke himself puts on a jersey and practices plays with the offensive line and linebackers.•Certain meals of Spaghetti O’s are had and served as “Gourmet Ohio” – each player must eat platefuls on OSU plates and with OSU napkins
Certain meals of Spaghetti O’s are had and served as “Gourmet Ohio” – each player must eat platefuls on OSU plates and with OSU napkins•Each player must learn the OSU fight song
Each player must learn the OSU fight songAdditionally, once a week, Hoke then briefly replays greatest moments in Michigan history as a positive finish to a hard week. Hoke believes in ending on a high note and is every bit the plain-speaking, no nonsense passionate Michigan coach that Earle Bruce was for Ohio State.
Fans, I can’t emphasize these points enough. Yes, there are the standard “countdown clock” and other things that Hoke doesn’t mind sharing with the public if needed, but the things mentioned here are real and Hoke goes to great lengths to cover things up internally.
Sound preposterous? Don’t’ believe it? Well you better believe it!
Hoke is a master motivator and ends practice hoarse each day. He and his assistants have installed a lunch-pail work ethic that the kids just love and they are tougher than any time in the last 30 years according to program sources who have been around a while.
Second coming of Bo you say? My guess so far, is that you would be right.
H.B.”
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